For years I found myself shifting gears between what I’ve dubbed ‘focus’ and ‘flow’. I’ve had times in which it felt like super important to spend some time laying out a plan before-hand, and then at all costs, making sure that I follow-through with the plan I devised. During these times, failure to follow-through with my plan meant a lack of commitment and focus, and surely this meant my demise.
These ways invoked progress and productivity. But in them, I’d find myself slowly but surely feeling either run-down. The lined-up calendar events would eventually come with a sense of needing to keep up, or the predictability would eventually give way for a lack of excitement.
And so, I’d find my way to another way, the way of flow. A way of not worrying or thinking about what I may have thought I would (or should) be doing in another previous moment, but instead, focusing entirely on only doing what I wanted to be doing right here. Being an entrepreneur and my own boss, allowed me the freedom to do this. If in the middle of the day I wanted to read, instead of work on my business, I could do that. And if I wanted to have cheerios for dinner, well, I could do that to (true story).
It was great to flow with moment, to give myself the freedom to. It felt relaxing, easy, simple. It felt great… until it didn’t. Because in these ways, I’d eventually always find myself back in a place of feeling like I wasn’t being productive. It wasn’t that I wasn’t getting anything done in fact, in flow it’d sometimes I’d actually feel like I was producing more. But despite this, somewhere along the line I’d feel like I wasn’t making the progress towards my aims that I could have been, because well, I wasn’t focused on those aims, and well, I actually sort of missed this.
Oh how would I deal with this? I know! Of course, I’ll come up with a better plan.
And like this I shifted back and forth between focus and flow. One seemed more productive, which I inherently enjoyed, until I didn’t. And one felt more simple and relaxing, which I also enjoyed, until I didn’t.
I’ve enjoyed both, I’ve felt off in both, so which one is it..?
Is the answer obvious yet?
Repeat after me: there is no right way to be. Often we get stuck in our ways of being, after seeing that it working well for a moment in time. If we have seen good results or have enjoyed being in and applying a particular perspective, it can be easy to simply decide that this is what works.
I’ve done this more than once, in more than one way.
Having a jam-packed calendar was right..
Working 12-14 hour days was right…
Not having any plans and only doing deciding what I wanted to do in the moment was right..
Timed fasting and scheduled meals was right..
Breakfast for dinner was right..
.. until it wasn’t. And when it wasn’t, I began to wonder, what I was doing wrong, why wasn’t I feeling great anymore or why was I longer motivated? Why was I feeling ‘off’?
It felt off, because it became off for me and what my Soul wanted at the time. This sense of there being something off is an indicator that within us there’s some sort of misalignment. And what I’ve found very interesting on my personal path, is how it seems like there’s a pattern in how becoming too stuck in one way eventually always leads to a call to practice the other side.
So, let’s say it together again: there is no right way to be. And no matter what teaching or idea you may be entertaining, there is always another side.
Find what works for you, use it until it feels like it doesn’t, stay open-minded to new perspectives, and choose what feels right for you in a given moment.. or make a plan and stick to it.